This song is about the needled insecurity that trigged my first tears in eight years.
lyrics
I just don’t wanna be hopeful
I don’t just wanna be good
I feel I’d rather be coastal
but I’m landlocked where no one sets foot
And I’m shot back into limbo
Fell straight down to the plane
Crashed too hard to write symbols
Too exhausted to be profane
And I just wanna be useful
Don’t wanna be felt neutrally
I don’t wanna be neutral
I feel unwantably neutral
Even if I know it’s not true
It feels hyper-realistic
I could be a hypochondriac
Because it might not be real but I still feel sick
And I just wanna be useful
Don’t wanna be felt neutrally
I don’t wanna be neutral
I feel unwantably neutral
And I don’t wanna be hopeless
Making hate when I can’t find love
If I never made you happy or you faked it
Hatred is better than knowing I was never enough
To tip scales either way
I’ve mapped it out with the math
I’m dead center on spectrum
Invisible line on a graph
And I just wanna be useful
Don’t wanna be felt neutrally
I don’t wanna be neutral
I feel unwantably neutral
And they say you’ve got nothing to fear though
But a slope to be sliding on
This warning sine around zero
You never know what side you’re on
And I just wanna be useful
Don’t wanna be felt neutrally
I don’t wanna be neutral
I feel unwantably neutral
A fascinating bit of bedroom outsider indie, Suchus has crafted nine songs with beguiling melodies and watery layers of guitar. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 23, 2022
Guitar-wielding duo from Queens, New York, drop atmospheric debut LP, recorded in an ex-bowling alley under a cafe. Bandcamp New & Notable May 25, 2015